I am honored to have been featured by my teacher and unofficial mentor, Tara Mohr, in a recent newsletter. Sharing here and encouraging you to check out her book, Playing Big, and her incredible body of work.
Also, the profile ended up illustrating what I think of as living an integrated life, or living life in an integrated way, and how the integrated life and leadership coaching work I do with clients has shown up in my own life. It’s such a big part of my “why” and my fierce belief in and commitment to possibility, as well as my “how” in walking towards my biggest dreams yet.
If any of this speaks to you or resonates in any way, I hope you will reach out, share and subscribe to Some Days at createsomedays.com to receive my latest writings, newsletters and new offerings (including special offers for subscribers).
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This summer, we’re trying out a new feature in the newsletter: with each one, we’re featuring a woman from our community sharing about her playing big. I asked Libby Stockstill, one of our Playing Big Facilitators Training and Coaching Way alumnae, to share how she has incorporated the Playing Big tools into her life and work.
One of the things I love about Libby’s story is that it speaks to so many different expressions of Playing Big. She used the tools to be more visible, vocal and impactful in traditionally prestigious leadership roles. Then, she used them to recover and reclaim her creative self, the writer in her. Playing Big impacted her parenting too. And down the road, she used the tools to take a major career leap toward something that felt truer to her authentic self, and more aligned with her values and priorities in this life chapter.
Do you remember how you first heard about Playing Big?
A mentor of mine mentioned the book. She was a bright light and I really admired the way she played big. I read it in 2018, right before stepping into a bigger job and leadership opportunity.
How has Playing Big impacted your work and life over time?
When I first encountered the tools, I worked in corporate executive roles leading the legal function (and ultimately others) for large, iconic global fashion and retail brands. I’d always imagined leadership and using my voice as an important part of my journey, but as I was met with the moments that really called for it, the imposter syndrome was real and the inner critic was loud.
I was in the room where I’d always wanted to be, asked to get on stage and share my strategic vision, and be a part of setting the direction of companies I cared about. Yet there was a massive tension between my fear, my safety instinct and my yearning to play big (and do that authentically, rather than armored up).
Learning that that awful inner critic narrative was not truth blew my mind, and that awareness, alongside the Playing Big tools, helped me bridge that chasm, allowing me to step into my brave and my leadership in that role, and the next, and the next.
I was able to use my voice for many things, including to champion diversity, equity, inclusion, belonging and action across the company and serve as co-executive sponsor of our inaugural women’s ERG. The tools continue to help me to this day as I step further into my playing big.
And now that my son is a teenager, Inner Critic, in particular, comes up almost daily in situations related to parenting, including helping him remove obstacles to his own playing big—with such profound results it brings tears to my eyes.
You eventually trained in coaching skills in The Coaching Way and the Playing Big Facilitators Training – tell us about that.
I’d observed some of Tara’s coaching in the Writing Retreat and her Sunday Sessions. I didn’t really know what coaching was—only that what Tara did in those sessions felt like magic. I thought, “I want to bring that magic to my team.”
I took The Coaching Way, and it added so much to my leadership and the way I empowered my team, the age-old delegation struggle—all the things.
I knew how powerful the Playing Big tools were already from the book, so when the Playing Big Facilitators Training was offered, I decided I wanted to be able to use that toolkit in the same way.
I got so much out of both experiences, for myself and as a leader. The presence and listening skills it inspired changed how I showed up with my team and colleagues. I learned the power of asking questions rather than continuing the myth that leadership meant I had to have all the answers. It all made my leadership so much more impactful as well as more fulfilling. Showing up in this way and how rewarding it was also led me to pursue coaching outside of my leadership role.
You’ve used the Playing Big tools to really step into your creativity. How did they support you in that way?
When I decided to go to law school, I parked the literary passion that led me to pursue an English degree in undergrad. You’d often catch me saying how, some day, I wanted to write the next great American novel. Except…I wasn’t writing anything. Unless you count contracts and emails (I don’t!).
From some inspiring models of creative people around me, combined with what the Playing Big ideas and tools taught me about hiding and my inner critic, I was able to see what was stopping me. I gave myself a choice. Either I stop just saying I want to write someday, or I buy a personal computer and actually write. I chose the latter.
Eventually, I created a website with the poems and essays I was writing—albeit with a pseudonym at first—but I kept leaning more and more into my writing, and it’s now a central part of my life and work. Including that integrating the courses’ material with my life and leadership inspired a sub-category of my writing rooted in coaching and mindfulness. That first became a blog/newsletter, Some Days, and it evolved into my integrated life and leadership coaching business.
You’ve also had a major career transition in recent years – how did that unfold for you?
The personal growth work I undertook, through and inspired by the Playing Big ideas and tools, also helped me clarify my values and what is most important to me. I was grateful to have achieved a lot of my dreams, but the truth was there were dreams I had put down that were still calling me. And my intuition was telling me there was more I was meant to do with my time here.
I also noticed I was feeling out of alignment, and a real toll was being taken on some of the things most important to me, such as my health and my family. Ultimately, I decided to play bigger than I’d ever played and stepped down from my Chief Legal Officer role (and the career and identity I’d built over 20+ years) to focus on coaching, writing, service, family and possibility in this next chapter of my life and career.
I remember the day over five years ago I added “coaching” to my website About page, and it felt so wild, and my Inner Critic was so loud! Today, that is my primary focus (alongside my novel in progress!). I work with individuals, teams/groups and organizations, offering coaching, consulting, writing, speaking, workshops, retreats and offsites focused on integrated life and leadership and the intentional pursuit of big dreams.
Thank you for so openheartedly sharing your story with us. Anything else would you like to share?
The Playing Big book and courses have literally changed my whole life and leadership, and that’s why I am such a champion of the work to anyone who will listen.
There’s so much I want to do while I’m here on this earth. I don’t think I’ll ever reach a place where I’m not pushing out of my comfort zone or a place where there’s no fear—but I have the tools I trust to navigate those places, and that is so exciting and empowering.
You can connect with Libby here. Thank you, Libby, for sharing your Playing Big journey with us here, being a part of our community, and inspiring us all with your journey!
